Alyssa..
al-aly-alyssa
1/4'o6
2/4'o7
3/9'o8
chij tp sec
grn hse
ij basketballer #09

today...i dun noe y but it reminded me that the seniors r leaving..i mean..we just got to noe them this year..n soon theyd be gone..theres this bond between the seniors n the juniors..at least thats how it feels..and soon after this year..they'll just vanish!its like a basketball family photo..except that the seniors are ripped from it.or mabe..its like something inside u died...torn away mabe.. missing....everythings gonna be soo different..theres still sooo much to learn from them...yet soo little time.having this thought of them leaving.. i just couldnt take it. i had to let it out. orelia tried to console me over the phone..n now i feel bad.. i made her cry too.omgg its just sooo damn freakin sad!they just did soooo much 4 us..n yet we didnt do anything 4 them.not even once did we stop to think abt them. yet now.. having the thought of em leave..we cant take it.seriously.its just too much to handle.talking to orelia actually made me break down..even her..by the end of this year..no more seniors..theyd be gone..we only have a month more to train together.after that,wed be on seperate ways.everything would be forever lost.all except 4 the journey we had together.that we'd treasure.it'll be all just a memory.i never actually knew how much i love my bball seniors.i think i do now.well mabe.at least i noe its enough to make me realli break down into tiny peices.thats how much i love them. everythings gonna be sooo different.from the team.. next year thered only be deb mary n chow.at least we still have them.. yet..life would be different.very different.

okay match today... not surprising...we lost..i actually thought we could win this 1..but..i guess nth is rite.. not in this world..i dun even think we can win any match! not at all.not even 1..but thats how i feel so..mabe things would turn around..i mean we did our damn freakin best...n still it was not gd enough.okay we'd try harder next time.but still..wouldnt be surprised if we loose all.ive lost all my hope.seriously. i dun noe how i got into the sch team. i mean.im like the worst player in the team.mabe its because of me we're not winning.who knows?i actually thought we could win this 1.. realli..i think we were still tired from wednesdays match.and so we slacked.a lot.if not we could have won.we realli could have!

arghh lost the match!! we were carshed! but still we did our best..i only played 4 awhile ...me n my ankle...some bitch stepped on my ankle twice! couldnt take it...tooo pain n so stopped playing..sat out n watched..score..2 to 106! like omgg!! but still we played against sec twos...n we did our best!okay we are gonna try harder on friday. dun think i can play though. stupid ankle.. i cant play..after that went to eat lunch at kfc..shouldnt have sat inside..deborah hoon was sitting in front of me n pui fong beside me..n maryanne beside deb..deborah n pui fong kept burping..leaving me no air to breathe lor.at least maryanne still had air..okay so shared buddy meal with pui fong...mann she can eat! i was full after my first piece of chicken..well managed to eat both..then went 4 a walk with pui fong cause it was freakin cold in kfc..met the rest at the entrance then went long john silvers..me n pui fong went to play with the lift..we went up n down so many times.. i didnt want to go the last time so i waited 4 her outside.. little did we notice a security guard...gd he didnt say anything..haha. then we inside long johns 4 a while..found it boring so we decided to go n look 4 cats..went near sch 4 that..after we played n was satisfied we went back to long johns..surprisingly huda,celine,rachel n chow was still there!juniors left..shared a drink with pui fong..soon every1 left except me chow n pui fong..chow was tryin to sleep i thi8nk..we couldnt finish our drink n so we left the drink on chows table n sneaked out...but chow saw us oh well..then we went home..okay i must admit that pui fong talks way toooooooooooo much n most of the time she doesnt make sense..went home with a bad head ache because of her.. gets a bit (trying to be nice) annoying at times..plus irritating..fine a lot! seriously..she n adeline lieow has someting in common..both talk a lot a most of the time dun make sense..oh wellz

basketball camp was fun fun fun!got realli dirty n all..first day i actually showered twice!thats how dirty we were!n how much we stinked!by the end of day 1 we had flour,eggs?!?!,coke,sand n other stuff all over us.bbq..love the food although i didnt have much..wasnt that hungry..had 1/4 of a hot dog n that fish thing.thats all! yep.lunch..chicken rice!! mmm couldnt finish it though.. shhhh..okay farewell... felt sooo sad... didnt actually realized how much id miss the seniors after they leave.. i actually cried!haha no 1 knew..cause when they turned on the lights i started laughing so that it wouldnt be that obvious.almost every1 at the back was crying...we just looked at each other n just started crying..we were sooo touched on wat the seniors said..realli..many hugs...ended quite late mabe 3am? then was watching high school musical..nice..although i couldnt realli c without ma glasses..went to bed at 5 plus and woke up at 7..damn tired..thank goodness no morning run..wonder who was sooo nice to cancel it..i think im starting to like the person who did that..lunch...pizza!! mmm had 1...was full after that.okay i was realli dreading sheila session but it wasnt that bad.made an egg erm...tower? holder? out of straws..i just sat there with tape alll over my freezing fingers and people pulling it out 1 by 1..then we had a tresure hunt thing ..okay u cant realli call it that..haha team leaders got tape on their mouth..being mute that it is n the smallest person in the group was tied up being paralysed.. fun fun..seniors with taped mouths..funnaye! oni rmb garce rachel deborah maryanne n sandra..realli realli funny..haha..yay we got out jerseys!!like finally!when i enetered the room with it on people were like alvinas here alvinas here.. all i heard was alvina!! for goodness sake i do not look like her!!not at all!n i m prepared to argue abt it!hmph! i love my jersey..after that went home.. whoah wat a day..my body aches a lot! n tmrs match..not suppose to play because of my ankle..a week mc..although didnt show any1...they never ask soo.. but wat the heck! think im gonna play!no 1 will noe...just wear ankle guard..

yesterday training...well it rained even b4 training started..so we had to go to da hall 4 training...think it was the least tiring training among all...which is good in a way...after training went to eat lunch at macs then went roaming and back to sch to shoot some balls..i wanna watch the omen!!watched the trailer..damn nice..so many people that i asked backed out lah! say too scary..aiyoh..who wanna watch tell me!!i wannnaa go with u!!!!

guess which bitch gave birth?!?!?! to 4..damn small n cute!!like finally she did most of the 'job' her self..my mom only helped when needed..the last time my mom had to do almost everything..at least now the dog knows how to be a mom..haha..

yesterday training damn tiring mann!!me n my stupid ankle..twisted it agn lah! but not as bad as the last time..didnt swell up..i bet if anna stepped on it like she did the last time after i twisted it during pe it would have swelled up like hell!!ok lucky training was stopped due to exams..if not id still have carried on to train..well still staid back to play bball so it didnt heal 4 3 weeks..consequences..haha no 1 knew cause i kept my mouth shut!!(well mabe my friends)wheneva theres an injury i would still carry on training unless i realli cannot walk..because i love training..okay..suffered when had to run 2.4..walked most of it..ankle was hurting like hell!then after training went to burgaaar kingg with deborah..mmm food was good...turkey bacon..mmm..then went home..n today my body aches like hell!!argh how m i gonna go 4 training tmr? ok i shall go 4 training n suffer during the weekend..yea..

its all true..i make stupid selfish decisions.realli realli realli stupid 1 s.rite now my wish is to go back n fix it.make the rite 1s.but too bad i cant.in this world,there is no reason to live.no reason 4 me even to be in this world.mabe this world would be better off without me.arghhhh life is damn difficult.in this world nothing is rite.everything is sooo damn freakin wrong. every single thing!i realli realli realli wish i could go back n fix it.its 1 wish i realli want most.the only 1 i realli need now. if only i was not stupid enough to make the wrong 1 s. livin in this world is soo damn hard. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! there is always a consequence to every decision i make!!! some times i wish i realli was dead.at least then there wouldnt be stupid decisions made by me.